Did you say Olympics? I Don’t Care.

It’s that time again: the Olympics. Every four years, the best of the best athletes from every conceivable country in the world congregate for two weeks to swim, run, throw, kick, and pretty much any other action you did as a kid on the playground. Over a billion people are brought together as they tune in every day to watch the competition, and for this short time we are all united through sports.

I’m not going to write about that.

At every party I’ve been to since the Olympics started (which, admittedly, has been one), the sports have dominated the conversation. “Oh, did you see that one girl from Who-Cares-istan in the underwater basket weaving semi-finals?” “Yeah, I can’t believe the ref called foul in the third quarter!”

That’s all fine and good for people who enjoy sports and talking about them, but I am not one of those people. I have never been one of those people. Much to the chagrin of my father, I write, I act, I will do anything at all but sports. So to go to a social gathering expecting the normal order of mindless chatter about our lives, and instead getting mindless chatter about sports… well, you can see my disappointment.

I try to understand it; really, I do. I sat with my family expecting gymnastics (the only sport I have any interest in being a spectator of) but it turned out I needed some sort of English-to-Olympics translator to figure out what time each sport is playing due to the time difference between Tuscaloosa and London.  So I ended up watching some strange sport where girls ran around with, like, hooked sticks on a blue field. It was the most confused I’ve ever been.

And you can’t just admit that you don’t care to watch the Olympics. My friend Summer, who’s in my same sports-hating boat, told one of her friends that she hadn’t been keeping up with the competitions, to which she received a spiteful “Are you even American?” For some weird reason I have yet to figure out, it’s perceived as downright Communist to not care about who won table tennis. Frankly, I resent that my status as a citizen of America comes into question just because the idea of sitting on a couch for four hours watching horses trot around a ring bores me to tears.

I’m not saying that everyone should just stop talking about the Olympics. It’s a current event and it’s relevant and I’m pretty much the only person I know who doesn’t care. It’s completely fine to discuss who won what and who cheated whom and get into arguments over who should have won what and all that. I totally understand being passionate about something to the point of it dominating almost every conversation you have (for me it’s movies and television). Believe me, I’m not saying you’re a bad person for talking about the Olympics.

Just don’t do it around me.

  • Maury Holliman

    Agreed. I’m loving the title as well.

  • http://www.facebook.com/annaphawkins Anna Patricia Hawkins

    The funny thing is, no one will talk about it anymore after a few weeks. But it does seem to dominate conversations around the time it’s taking place….