Why Comcast is Unequivocally the Worst Company Ever

Last summer, I lived off campus and took summer classes. Finance was almost entirely online, so the internet was a scholastic necessity as well as a recreational commodity. One afternoon — in the middle of an assignment that did not auto-save — the internet suddenly gave out. I called Comcast and waited for nearly an hour before I got into contact with a representative. This unhelpful and unprofessional person told me in a mixture of street jive and badly bruised and beaten English that they would send out a person the next day between three and six.

Irked at having to stay in all day, I got home around two the following afternoon and met the maintenance man already waiting at my door. To quote Barack “Let me be clear” — this was a full hour and a half before my appointed time that was already an insane three hours. He was also unhelpful and left my apartment with the internet still down, mumbling something about a tech team that would come out the next day.

That evening, I called Comcast again. I dial the number from my speed dial (not kidding). I press 1 for English. I press 4 for customer service. I press 4 for internet troubles. I press 3 for internet outage. I wait for half an hour listening to Comcast advertisements as my blood boils. I’m told, mind you after I have already indicated twice that my internet is out, that I should try to troubleshoot my problem online, and swear loudly at the emotionless machine that “I would if you were giving me my damn internet!”  I was finally able to confirm that yes, my internet was down, and that the mumbling unprofessional who had poked my electronics had scheduled another team for the next day.

The next day, I again waited for the team to arrive with help, but this time no one showed up at all. Understandably angry at this point I called Comcast and asked why I had been stood up on my technology date and I was never given any satisfactory answer. Over the next two weeks I called Comcast another twelve times (by their count, not mine) and had another two teams of people in my apartment tinkering with the unknown things that rest behind my entertainment center.

It was finally fixed two weeks to the day after it had gone out. You would think Comcast had cured world hunger instead of, I don’t know, doing their own goddamn jobs that they’d been neglecting for the better part of a month. I called billing, and after long negotiations I was offered a paltry five percent discount on that month’s bill, a month during which I had internet exactly half of the time. This experience has built within me a hatred of Comcast that burns with the passion of a thousand fiery suns.

Now it’s a new year, and I’m in a new apartment, but the internet is the same because Comcast is an evil colluding corporate giant who cannot be stopped by mere mortals. Its hulking behemoth girth continues to be the only available provider, and I continue to dish out shovelfuls of money to have them throttle back my internet speed for no reason.

  • http://www.facebook.com/haley.e.seale Haley Erin Seale

    Agreed. My internet goes out all the time and we have to deal with stuff like this. I really like the descriptive writing in the last paragraph.