Humor & Satire

Humor & Satire at the Peanut. The ideal section for comic writers.

How My Chest was Cut Open or Why You Should Date Me

“After two decades with it, I didn’t recognize my own body. I ran a finger over one scar with curiosity, but then the next in a panic, and finally the middle of my chest–I couldn’t feel a thing.”

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How My Chest was Cut Open or Why You Should Date Me

“After two decades with it, I didn’t recognize my own body. I ran a finger over one scar with curiosity, but then the next in a panic, and finally the middle of my chest–I couldn’t feel a thing.”

/ 2 Comments

The Harmless Icebreaker

“First impressions only come around once and I don’t want to seem like the hipster elitist that deep down, I really am. I need to keep it short and simple.”

/ One Comment

The Harmless Icebreaker

“First impressions only come around once and I don’t want to seem like the hipster elitist that deep down, I really am. I need to keep it short and simple.”

/ One Comment

Can Dathy’s Equality

“So, here I am — a fat, unattractive, foreign creep and a pedophile to boot, just sitting on his back porch staring at the children. So, I decided to look innocuous by lugging my radio outside.”

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Can Dathy’s Equality

“So, here I am — a fat, unattractive, foreign creep and a pedophile to boot, just sitting on his back porch staring at the children. So, I decided to look innocuous by lugging my radio outside.”

/ No comments

Tuscaloosa’s Cobb Theater Bans Madea’s Witness Protection

“Tyler Perry’s movie is a tale of capitalism gone wrong.”

/ One Comment

Tuscaloosa’s Cobb Theater Bans Madea’s Witness Protection

“Tyler Perry’s movie is a tale of capitalism gone wrong.”

/ One Comment

And baby makes five! TLC’s Michelle Duggar gives birth to Alabama’s fifth ‘ship this year

“The Duggars plan on leaving TLC for ESPN as part of the sports network’s attempts to further distance fans from relevant and meaningful athletic news..”

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And baby makes five! TLC’s Michelle Duggar gives birth to Alabama’s fifth ‘ship this year

“The Duggars plan on leaving TLC for ESPN as part of the sports network’s attempts to further distance fans from relevant and meaningful athletic news..”

/ No comments

“It’s only hazing if someone dies,” says bruised, snot-faced pledge

“In my mind, he’s the physically older and sexually opposite version of the Twilight fan, the latter loyal to possibly the most developmentally-detrimental book in history, and the former loyal to a college culture thousands of times more destructive.”

/ One Comment

“It’s only hazing if someone dies,” says bruised, snot-faced pledge

“In my mind, he’s the physically older and sexually opposite version of the Twilight fan, the latter loyal to possibly the most developmentally-detrimental book in history, and the former loyal to a college culture thousands of times more destructive.”

/ One Comment

NCAA bans Alabama from National Championship Games, Feels Sorry for Everyone Else

“Starting immediately, all NCAA-sanctioned sports at the University of Alabama will not be allowed to compete in their respective national championship games, a decision made not so much in response to the university’s fourth title this year and sixth over the past three, but in response to the whines and tears of every other eligible school, Auburn University in particular.”

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NCAA bans Alabama from National Championship Games, Feels Sorry for Everyone Else

“Starting immediately, all NCAA-sanctioned sports at the University of Alabama will not be allowed to compete in their respective national championship games, a decision made not so much in response to the university’s fourth title this year and sixth over the past three, but in response to the whines and tears of every other eligible school, Auburn University in particular.”

/ No comments

Burglar leaves home spotless, Messy family traumatized

“Tragedy struck one local family as they returned from a weeklong vacation to a nearly immaculate home. Doug Martin told police that he and his wife recognized signs of trouble even before setting foot in their house, when upon pulling into their driveway, the familiar sound of running over their son’s bicycle was nowhere to be found.”

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Burglar leaves home spotless, Messy family traumatized

“Tragedy struck one local family as they returned from a weeklong vacation to a nearly immaculate home. Doug Martin told police that he and his wife recognized signs of trouble even before setting foot in their house, when upon pulling into their driveway, the familiar sound of running over their son’s bicycle was nowhere to be found.”

/ No comments