Columns by CP Diaz

About CP Diaz

Hi, my name is CP Diaz. I prefer to remain anonymous. CP Diaz is a Columnist for the Peanut.

And baby makes five! TLC’s Michelle Duggar gives birth to Alabama’s fifth ‘ship this year

“The Duggars plan on leaving TLC for ESPN as part of the sports network’s attempts to further distance fans from relevant and meaningful athletic news..”

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And baby makes five! TLC’s Michelle Duggar gives birth to Alabama’s fifth ‘ship this year

“The Duggars plan on leaving TLC for ESPN as part of the sports network’s attempts to further distance fans from relevant and meaningful athletic news..”

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“It’s only hazing if someone dies,” says bruised, snot-faced pledge

“In my mind, he’s the physically older and sexually opposite version of the Twilight fan, the latter loyal to possibly the most developmentally-detrimental book in history, and the former loyal to a college culture thousands of times more destructive.”

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“It’s only hazing if someone dies,” says bruised, snot-faced pledge

“In my mind, he’s the physically older and sexually opposite version of the Twilight fan, the latter loyal to possibly the most developmentally-detrimental book in history, and the former loyal to a college culture thousands of times more destructive.”

/ One Comment

NCAA bans Alabama from National Championship Games, Feels Sorry for Everyone Else

“Starting immediately, all NCAA-sanctioned sports at the University of Alabama will not be allowed to compete in their respective national championship games, a decision made not so much in response to the university’s fourth title this year and sixth over the past three, but in response to the whines and tears of every other eligible school, Auburn University in particular.”

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NCAA bans Alabama from National Championship Games, Feels Sorry for Everyone Else

“Starting immediately, all NCAA-sanctioned sports at the University of Alabama will not be allowed to compete in their respective national championship games, a decision made not so much in response to the university’s fourth title this year and sixth over the past three, but in response to the whines and tears of every other eligible school, Auburn University in particular.”

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Burglar leaves home spotless, Messy family traumatized

“Tragedy struck one local family as they returned from a weeklong vacation to a nearly immaculate home. Doug Martin told police that he and his wife recognized signs of trouble even before setting foot in their house, when upon pulling into their driveway, the familiar sound of running over their son’s bicycle was nowhere to be found.”

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Burglar leaves home spotless, Messy family traumatized

“Tragedy struck one local family as they returned from a weeklong vacation to a nearly immaculate home. Doug Martin told police that he and his wife recognized signs of trouble even before setting foot in their house, when upon pulling into their driveway, the familiar sound of running over their son’s bicycle was nowhere to be found.”

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Behind Morbidly Obese lies one Giant Fat Joke

“There are three clear stages of life leading the way in America: normal weight, overweight, and obese. Following closely is morbidly obese, slowly but surely catching up to the pack, hungry for that delicious fourth place finish..”

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Behind Morbidly Obese lies one Giant Fat Joke

“There are three clear stages of life leading the way in America: normal weight, overweight, and obese. Following closely is morbidly obese, slowly but surely catching up to the pack, hungry for that delicious fourth place finish..”

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